I lost my father on Thursday night. He passed away twenty minutes before we could get there. I had seen him twice that day, as we had just arranged hospice care.
Yesterday, feeling numb and listening to my own playlist, (I never realized how sad it was), I started a new piece for my journal.
I found some old sketches of sea gulls and thought I'd use them as a background. But then I turned the cut pages around and found a pen and ink drawing I had done of an animal skull in college.
So I used that side instead.
This photograph was taken at my brother's wedding in Ashland, Oregon. It was a day filled with both laughter and sadness, as we had just found out about my mothers cancer. It was thirteen years ago.
So the process continues,
sad memories ,
so many what ifs.
I am grateful that I brought my father closer to my home to live. Grateful that I got to know him as a sweeter, kinder man. Grateful that I could say I loved him.
The magnifying glass was his. The tags are covered with scraps, metal and threads from other collages. There is even a bandaid wrapper.
This photograph was taken of my mom and dad at a winery in Sanoma County. A happy day, in 1981, I believe. My mother died eleven years ago.
The finished pages. Click on the images to look closer.
I wish I had taken a picture of his hands.